1 How to Become a Virgin,
2 Who Wants a Dose of the Clap?,
3 Twenty-Three Lubed-Up Schizophrenics With Delusions of Grandeur,
4 Priest With the Sexually Transmitted Diseases Get Out of My Bed,
5 The Half-Eaten Sausage Would Like to See You in His Office,
6 Perils of Believing in Round Squares,
7 Flash's Theme,
8 Gluing Carpet to Your Genitals Does Not Make You a Cantaloupe,
9 Turning Your Merchandise Into a Ripped Wall of Mini-Abs,
10 Bring Your 6.5 Italian,
11 Alas Here Come the Hypochondriacs to Wait With You in the Lobby,
12 Siphoning Projectiles During Selective Amnesia,
13 Flight of the Wounded Locust,
14 Get Off the Cross, the Wood Is Needed,
15 Wet Nurse Syndrome Hand-Me-Down Display Case,
16 This Is Radio Surgery,
17 Spitting in the Faces of Fools as a Source of Nutrition,
18 Sever the Toes,
19 Well I'll Be a Monkey's Uncle,
20 Moth-Eaten Deer Head,
21 Brand New Set of Teeth,
22 How to Build a Pessimistic Lie Detector,
23 Nice Tranquil Thumb in Mouth,
24 Dog Without a Collar (Run over Red Rover),
25 Normal Run of the Muck (Compensation for Conversation),
26 Stucco Obelisks Labeled as Trees,
27 Straight from the Horse's Mouth,
28 An Extra Piece of Dead Meat,
29 Twenty-Three Full-Time Cowboys,
30 Backbones of Jack Asses,
31 Fixed Companionship, Ghost Town Irrationality,
32 Skin Graft at Seventy-Five Miles Per Hour,
33 High-Maintenance Libido, Bring the Whole Family,
34 Halfway to a Worthless Ideal Arrangement (An Interlude to a Discontinued Sarcastic Harmony... Yea Whatever),
35 Kill Roger Hedgecock,
36 Hairspray Suppository,
37 Cattle Mutilation,
38 Prepare to Qualify,
39 Pain Reliever,
40 Off by a Long Shot,
41 #99,
42 Head Hits Concrete,
43 Ass Gravity,
44 Keep Off the Tracks